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I Know Who Killed This Movie
I tried to maintain my faith in Lindsay Lohan for as long as possible. Scandals aside, I thought she was a really good actress, and “Mean Girls” was, and still is, one of my favorite movies. But then I saw “I Know Who Killed Me.” The plot seemed interesting and the previews looked good, but the movie itself quickly descended into absurdity. It tried to be witty and throw in some subtle humor, but the only parts the audience laughed at were the ones that were not supposed to be funny at all. For example, when Lindsay’s main character wakes up in the hospital and starts screaming when she notices her hand and leg are amputated, the entire audience cracked up. Also, since the movie came out around the same time Lohan was arrested for cocaine possession, the line “[My mother] was a crack addict. She was an idiot,” brought forth roaring laughter from the audience. And during the twenty minutes of Lindsay dancing around a stripper pole, the audience focused on their own side conversations, and never even got one 'shush.' While some reviews say that it’s a great movie, and others say that everyone who bashes it just does not understand the deeper meaning, I’m pretty sure their reading to much into it. While this movie is by no means amazing, it’s perfect for those nights when you want to watch a cheesy horror movie, and not have to think too much.

Disney princesses continue to 'Enchant'
How do you know when a movie is really, really good? If, when you walk into school Monday, everyone is simultaneously bursting into song and you know they’re not filming the next installment of //High School Musical// at your school, that’s how you know. Such was the case the Monday after Thanksgiving Break, when Disney’s new, non-animated princess movie, ‘Enchanted,’ premiered, and easily became number one at the box office. In case you somehow don’t know, “Enchanted” is the story of Giselle, a maid about to marry her “one true love,” who is pushed down a magic well by an old hag right out of “Snow White.” She ends up in the middle of Times Square’s hustle and bustle, in a huge white wedding dress. The movie is full of over-the-top Disney wonder and magic, but my personal favorite was James Marsden’s Prince Edward, who, with his big smile and bus-stabbing antics personified the foolishly-in-love Disney princes, who pledge their undying love to their first kiss. While some people were at first afraid that it would be a movie that looked good in the previews, but didn’t deliver, they were not disappointed. The soundtrack was catchy and clever, and the subtle way in which Disney makes fun of itself only added to the movie. For instance, they make sure to ask the question that everyone has been asking themselves since Disney began making musicals… “how does everyone know that song?” So, don’t wait for your Prince Charming to come and carry you off to the movie theater, go now, it’s definitely worth it! By Shannon B.

'Love Hurts'...and so does this movie.
I’m a big fan of the man who can’t turn left, but I was very disappointed with his latest movie. In the previews, it looked pretty funny—not up to “Zoolander” status, but good nonetheless. However, I did not laugh once. The plot was really simple and it was not a cute romantic story at all. The dumb humor that Ben Stiller and his frat pack buddies are famous for was almost completely absent from the film. Instead, it was stifled by unmemorable dialogue and unlikable characters. The main point of the story is that Stiller’s character has never been married, finds a woman he likes, rapidly gets married, and then finds a woman he loves on his honeymoon (where he also realizes he does not know his wife at all). I thought that the story was slightly misogynistic, because Stiller after finally having gotten one woman, seemed to regard women as lesser, because as soon as he lost interest in one, he found another, even if he was still married to them. In all honesty, don’t waste your money renting this movie. If you really want to see it, you can find it online, but then, don’t waste your time. I’m not even going to waste my time writing any more about it. by Shannon B.

Happy Halloween?
Blood and breasts. These are the two primary ingredients that epitomize Rob Zombie’s classic seventies remake, //Halloween//. Whether you are watching a drunken redneck endure a slice to the throat by a psychopathic ten year old or a teenager being heaved across Michael Myers’ attic mid orgasm, the entire film teeters between comedic gore and twisted brutality. Still, who can expect anything less but another //House of 1000 Corpuses// from notorious screenwriter and director Rob Zombie. Picture this (or rather don’t): a young murderer, Michael Myers, sulking because his older sister won’t take him trick- or- treating. Cut to his mother putting on a sweater after a long night of stripping. Cut back to the Myers house where Michael’s sister is “entertaining” her boyfriend and finally cut to Michael, wearing a clown mask and gripping a butcher’s knife in the kitchen. Cue sirens. The rest is simply cinema history repeating itself in a bad remake from an even worse original. In comparing the original and remake of //Halloween//, however, it is interesting to note the addition of the Myers family anecdote in the beginning of the film: How the masked Michael came to be. In the original //Halloween// the opening scene is a young, innocent looking boy holding a knife over his dead sister; his apparent innocence makes it really difficult to label him as a psychopath. But in the remake Michael has modernized. Even as a boy he looks older with unkempt, long hair, torn, baggy blue jeans and an AC/DC shirt-- a personal Rob Zombie makeover. Otherwise, aside from the lack of Jamie Lee Curtis and a new contemporary approach, Halloween stays boringly true to its predecessor. Since the majority of horror movie fanatics have already seen //Halloween// and its many, equally unimpressive sequels it seems an incredible waste of two hours to watch an essentially (and deliberately) identical movie. The original Halloween was bad the first time, so why see it again in the form of a remake? There is no good reason for suffering through either //Halloween// other than to use it as an excuse to cuddle or cringe in your seat. Even so, there are plenty of better movies to initiate cuddling that do not involve the quintessential Jason or Michael or Freddy. If you are, however, fans of these cinematic achievements consider therapy or, if that is too extreme, reevaluate your movie tastes. by **Emma B. [|Watch the trailer]**

On June 5, 1968, six people were shot in the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles, CA. Five of them survived, but JFK’s little brother and the leading candidate for the Democratic Presidential nomination, died the next day. Emilio Estevez’s //Bobby// focuses on the life of fictional characters in the Ambassador on that fateful day. Two main characters do seem to be based on real people who were at the hotel: Tim and Virginia Fallon, played by Estevez and Demi Moore. Many believe that they were versions of José Ferrer and Rosemary Clooney (yes, George’s aunt). The plot is similar to that of movies like //Crash// and //Babel//, where a multitude of seemingly separate stories and characters all come together in the end, under tragic circumstances. Although the movie was slow at times, Estevez, having come a long way since his //Breakfast Club// days, provided insight into all the main characters, allowing the viewer to feel a bond with them, no matter how slight. The cast was almost fully made up of well-known stars, such as Sharon Stone, Helen Hunt, Laurence Fishburne, Joshua Jackson, Ashton Kutcher, Shia LaBeouf, Lindsay Lohan, Anthony Hopkins, Nick Cannon and Elijah Wood, to name a few. Bobby Kennedy, himself, was portrayed almost entirely in real footage, and when the actor was shown, it was either from the back or the side, allowing for RFK to live on without his image being tarnished by another’s face. //Bobby// was set in the 60s, so of course, it has the 60s hair, 60s clothes, and of course LSD. In one scene, Ashton Kutcher provides LSD to two college kids who do not want to campaign door to door. This soon leads to Louis Stevens standing naked in front of a door, while trying to find Jesus. (I don’t know what’s with Disney child-stars these days!) Even if you do not really know who Bobby Kennedy was, it is irrelevant to the movie, as it is focused on the people at the hotel, not RFK himself. Although some of the characters are working on the campaign, many are just there to get to see Bobby and there lives go on without giving him a second thought, until his arrival gets closer. As the moment before Bobby’s assassination begins, the sound cuts out and Simon and Garfunkel’s “Sound of Silence” starts. Seeing the emotion on the faces of the characters but not being able to hear their joyous exclamations punctured by sobs makes the scene all the more emotional. Even if you don’t know who RFK is, his assassination affected the course of American history and seeing the way it affected the people at the hotel is enough to bring tears to one’s eyes. Besides just being a powerful movie however, “Bobby” also provides a conversation starter as grandparents and some parents can clearly remember the day Bobby Kennedy was assassinated. by Shannon B.
 * [|Watch the trailer]**

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**A Frat Pack classic**
Thanks to //Superbad,// one might say that Jonah Hill and Michael Cera are the two next big stars in comedy. Others name Seth Rogen and the Knocked Up crowd the kings of the genre. Those movies have skyrocketed to the tops of “favorite movie” lists the world around. But all of these movies seem to be missing something. They’re funny, sure, even laugh-out-loud-double-over-and-cry-it’s-so-funny at times, but I feel like the classics still reign supreme. No, I’m not talking about //Animal House, Caddyshack//, and //Blazing Saddles//. I’m talking about the Frat Pack movies. The Frat Pack. That group of 40s-age actors who make movies as if they’re about 20. You’ve seen their faces. You’ve seen their movies. You’ve seen their big jiggling guts at times. These actors include Ben Stiller, the leader of the pack, Owen Wilson, his right-hand man, and the rest of the players: Will Farrell, Luke Wilson, Steve Carell, and Vince Vaughn. Everyone has their favorite Frat Pack member (mine is Owen, both pre and post-suicide attempt), but only when these childish men are together do they really shine. Who can forget their classic films? //Zoolander// and //Anchorman// are probably the most oft-quoted films of the 2000s. //Old School// brought aging baby-boomers back to their youth (“I’m goin’ STREAKINNN!”). //Wedding Crashers, Dodgeball,// and //Starsky and Hutch// are the three other Frat-Pack movies—all good and popular, but they don’t compare to the other three. My own personal favorite is the classic, quintessential Frat Pack movie, the one that started it all: //Zoolander//. This somewhat idiotic yet heartwarming story of a male model who is brainwashed to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia is one to have you laughing all the way through. One of the many reasons I love this movie is the fact that it has so many great awkward little details that make the movie so much better. For example, the fact that Derek Zoolander cannot turn left. It’s ridiculous that someone isn’t an “ambiturner,” as they put it in the movie, but that’s just the thing: it’s //supposed// to be ridiculous. The sheer impossibility of so many things that happen in the movie is what makes it such a good movie. Remember when they are discussing how all of the major assassinations in American history have been committed by male models? We all know that couldn’t really happen, but why not laugh at the idea of it? This movie, though most people in the civilized world have seen it, is a classic that I believe deserves a rewatch. You could even start impressing your friends with Blue Steel, Magnum, and Le Tigre looks. But be careful; don’t listen to the song “Relax.” It might be a brainwashing trick for you to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia. I don’t want the next thing I write for the paper to be his “eugoogly.” by Emma L.

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**Cooler than Armageddon**
By Shannon B. “You seriously did not like that movie…we all know your kidding…there’s no way you could have liked it.” As you can see, my parents did not believe me after I came home and started raving about //Transformers//. I have to admit that I thought it looked good since I first saw the previews, even though some people thought it was going to be a “nerd movie” or for little boys. I went to see it and it exceeded even my expectations. Not only does it star Shia LaBeouf, who has become quite the young-Hollywood hottie, but it also has action sequences that keep you on the edge of your seat and very endearing giant robots. //Transformers//, from the same director as //Armageddon// and //Pearl Harbor// and executive produced by Steven Spielberg, is based on the popular toys of the 80s. It follows the hectic life of Sam Witwicky (LaBeouf) after he purchases his first car, which actually turns out to be an Autobot named Bumblebee. Sam then becomes involved in the war between the good Autobots, led by Optimus Prime, and the bad Decepticons, led by Megatron. Confused? See the movie. Although there were undoubtedly grown men who were fans of the toys in the movie with us, as well as one little boy who exclaimed “its Optimus Prime!” when he came on the screen, most of the people in there seemed to be teenagers who either thought it looked like a good action movie, wanted to see Shia LaBeouf, or were forced there by their friend. Although it does have a lot of intense action sequences in it, it also was very (unexpectedly) humorous. However, everyone leaving the theater seemed to be very impressed and fully satisfied with the movie. So before dismissing it as a nerd movie or a movie for little boys, give it a chance…I promise it will be a lot better than you expected.
 * [|Watch the trailer]**